Will my Kickstarter succeed?

As of today I have 13 days to reach my funding goal for my Kickstarter campaign to produce a recovery music album.  If I do not reach the goal, I don't receive any funds.  To say I'm not nervous that this project will succeed is a huge understatement. I'm doing my best to be positive and to spread the word on social media and within my circle of family and friends.  Unfortunately I'm not receiving the responses I was hoping for.

There's a part of me that feels disappointment that I'm not even close to reaching my goal.  It makes me question whether this project is good enough, whether I'm good enough and deserving, whether people care about eating disorders, whether people care about my own recovery, and the list goes on.

Another blow came when a "friend" told me in essence that I shouldn't be doing certain cover songs because I don't sound good singing them.  She said that someone from outside my family had to tell me because my family is probably too scared to tell me the truth.  I kindly asked her to please stop sending me messages because she was hurting my feelings, however she just had to send one more.  I'm not sure what her purpose of doing this was.  It's amazing how one person can shake your faith in yourself.  I've chosen to let her words roll off my back.  I don't need her approval or really anyone's approval for pursuing my dreams.

My dream is to sing and perform and to bring awareness about eating disorders.  Not until I received treatment and went into a partial hospitalization program did I realize how sick I was.  Not until I was eating regularly and watched my body change did I realize how much abuse my body had taken.

Music is an amazing outlet for me.  I love listening to songs that pull at my heartstrings and hearing something new inside the music.  I've chosen the songs I'm covering because they help me express how I feel, good or bad.  I've also find comfort in writing lyrics.  I've been writing lyrics for a very long time, but I never thought I could ever share them because no one could know about my struggles.  Now I want to share these personal lyrics so others know they are not alone.  We all know what's it like to find that one song that moves us, stirs something inside us that we can't exactly explain, but we know we've found something special.

To be able to share this music and my message of body acceptance and self love, I need your help.  Producing an album takes a lot of time and effort and it comes with a price.  If you are able please pledge $1 and share this campaign with others.  

Let's change the world one song at a time.

Here is the link to my campaign: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2026292512/emilys-eating-disorder-recovery-music-album?ref=project_share

Thank you so much for your support!

Out of my comfort zone

This year I decided I would commit to doing things that make me uncomfortable.  I've let fear and doubt take over my life for way too long.  It's time to act and stop playing the "what if" game.  

One of my good friends, Justin, has been phenomenal at challenging me.  For example, with my recovery album he suggested I contact people so they can help promote my music and that a Kickstarter campaign is in the works.

So I did.  And it was terrifying.  When I called various eating disorder organizations I had no idea what to say.  I usually started with:

Um...hi, my name is Emily and um...

Have any of your read the children's book Emily Umily?  That's so me.  I hate talking on the phone, to groups of people, sometimes to my own friends because I'm scared that I'm going to say something stupid or someone is going judge me.

Eventually after saying "um" plenty of times I finally spit it out:

I'm in recovery for an eating disorder and I'm recording a recovery music album.  I want to bring awareness about this project and I was hoping to get your help to spread the word.

Or something like that.  I mention the Kickstarter campaign as well.  Responses have varied from excitement (e-mail me your info!) to uncertainty (cue crickets sound) or I had to leave a voicemail or send an e-mail.  Can you imagine how many times I say "um" on a voicemail?!

So far I'm waiting to hear back from most of my contacts and one eating disorder organization left a message on my phone saying they couldn't help me.  I found it a bit odd since my intent is to spread awareness about eating disorders and give people hope and support, but they can't help in my cause because they're probably busy...spreading awareness about eating disorders and giving people hope and support.  (That was a bit snarky of me, wasn't it?  I don't know why they can't be of assistance, but they did wish me luck so that's something, right?)

Guess what?  I did get an amazing response from one of my contacts!  Her name is Caroline Bach and she's a reporter for Channel 27 news!  On Sunday she came to my house and interviewed me about my eating disorder and my recovery album.  I don't remember what I said!  But I do remember Caroline was a very fun person to talk to and even though I was completely out of my comfort zone I survived.  

That may seem a little dramatic.  Woman survives interview splashed across the front page!  For me, it was a huge step!  Knowing that this story, my story, is going to be told is strange, weird, crazy, terrifying and also wonderful, awesome, amazing, brave!  I want to make a difference and the only real way to make a difference is by stepping out of that comfort zone.