Will my Kickstarter succeed?

As of today I have 13 days to reach my funding goal for my Kickstarter campaign to produce a recovery music album.  If I do not reach the goal, I don't receive any funds.  To say I'm not nervous that this project will succeed is a huge understatement. I'm doing my best to be positive and to spread the word on social media and within my circle of family and friends.  Unfortunately I'm not receiving the responses I was hoping for.

There's a part of me that feels disappointment that I'm not even close to reaching my goal.  It makes me question whether this project is good enough, whether I'm good enough and deserving, whether people care about eating disorders, whether people care about my own recovery, and the list goes on.

Another blow came when a "friend" told me in essence that I shouldn't be doing certain cover songs because I don't sound good singing them.  She said that someone from outside my family had to tell me because my family is probably too scared to tell me the truth.  I kindly asked her to please stop sending me messages because she was hurting my feelings, however she just had to send one more.  I'm not sure what her purpose of doing this was.  It's amazing how one person can shake your faith in yourself.  I've chosen to let her words roll off my back.  I don't need her approval or really anyone's approval for pursuing my dreams.

My dream is to sing and perform and to bring awareness about eating disorders.  Not until I received treatment and went into a partial hospitalization program did I realize how sick I was.  Not until I was eating regularly and watched my body change did I realize how much abuse my body had taken.

Music is an amazing outlet for me.  I love listening to songs that pull at my heartstrings and hearing something new inside the music.  I've chosen the songs I'm covering because they help me express how I feel, good or bad.  I've also find comfort in writing lyrics.  I've been writing lyrics for a very long time, but I never thought I could ever share them because no one could know about my struggles.  Now I want to share these personal lyrics so others know they are not alone.  We all know what's it like to find that one song that moves us, stirs something inside us that we can't exactly explain, but we know we've found something special.

To be able to share this music and my message of body acceptance and self love, I need your help.  Producing an album takes a lot of time and effort and it comes with a price.  If you are able please pledge $1 and share this campaign with others.  

Let's change the world one song at a time.

Here is the link to my campaign: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2026292512/emilys-eating-disorder-recovery-music-album?ref=project_share

Thank you so much for your support!

Why I NEDA week

Yesterday was the last day of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.  I was hoping to post more on to social media, but there were a few days this past week that I wasn't feeling well.  But the nice thing about awareness is that it doesn't have to end after the designated week or month is over.  Hopefully it lights the dry brush in a field and starts a wildfire that spreads across the states, the continents, the world.

Why I need #NEDAwareness is because it reminds me I'm not alone, it validates how I feel, it gives me courage to keep fighting, it gives me a voice to share my story, it gives me optimism that I will succeed in recovery and so much more.

One way I'm going to continue spreading awareness is producing my recovery album.  I've already started the recording process and I'm so happy to be back in the studio.  It will be a mixture of covers (with my own spin) and originals.  

There are plenty of days I'm super excited and can't wait to launch my Kickstarter campaign and see it thrive.  Then there are other days I'm questioning myself - what makes me think I'm good enough, that people actually want to hear what I have to say, that people will enjoy the music, that people can relate, and on and on and on.  Doubt and fear.  Those are ED's favorite tools, but I'm not playing his game anymore.  

One of my close friends reminded me, regardless of what happens with my recovery album, I'm doing it for me.  I don't need to impress anyone nor do I need anyone's permission.  It's time to trust myself and do something that seems impossible because I promised myself that I would step outside of my comfort zone.