One of my good friends, Justin, has been phenomenal at challenging me. For example, with my recovery album he suggested I contact people so they can help promote my music and that a Kickstarter campaign is in the works.
So I did. And it was terrifying. When I called various eating disorder organizations I had no idea what to say. I usually started with:
Um...hi, my name is Emily and um...
Have any of your read the children's book Emily Umily? That's so me. I hate talking on the phone, to groups of people, sometimes to my own friends because I'm scared that I'm going to say something stupid or someone is going judge me.
Eventually after saying "um" plenty of times I finally spit it out:
I'm in recovery for an eating disorder and I'm recording a recovery music album. I want to bring awareness about this project and I was hoping to get your help to spread the word.
Or something like that. I mention the Kickstarter campaign as well. Responses have varied from excitement (e-mail me your info!) to uncertainty (cue crickets sound) or I had to leave a voicemail or send an e-mail. Can you imagine how many times I say "um" on a voicemail?!
So far I'm waiting to hear back from most of my contacts and one eating disorder organization left a message on my phone saying they couldn't help me. I found it a bit odd since my intent is to spread awareness about eating disorders and give people hope and support, but they can't help in my cause because they're probably busy...spreading awareness about eating disorders and giving people hope and support. (That was a bit snarky of me, wasn't it? I don't know why they can't be of assistance, but they did wish me luck so that's something, right?)
Guess what? I did get an amazing response from one of my contacts! Her name is Caroline Bach and she's a reporter for Channel 27 news! On Sunday she came to my house and interviewed me about my eating disorder and my recovery album. I don't remember what I said! But I do remember Caroline was a very fun person to talk to and even though I was completely out of my comfort zone I survived.
That may seem a little dramatic. Woman survives interview splashed across the front page! For me, it was a huge step! Knowing that this story, my story, is going to be told is strange, weird, crazy, terrifying and also wonderful, awesome, amazing, brave! I want to make a difference and the only real way to make a difference is by stepping out of that comfort zone.
Hey, so on the note of surviving the interview, at the school where I teach we had a woman who survived Auschwitz come and speak today. She said that she didn't talk about her experience there for forty years, and when she did start speaking about it and sharing her story, she had to take a tranquilizer before going to give her speech. But she survived one of the worst things ever, and she survived learning to share despite her nervousness. She's made a difference by speaking out, and you are/will too!
ReplyDelete~Bethany
I am glad you are doing this and that you are finding supportive, enthusiastic people who will help. Remember that you do have people cheering you on. Courage! During Sweet Lowdown, many people were excited that I was going to tell that story. However, others, many of whom I thought would be most supportive, fought tooth and nail to keep it from being told. That was painful. As one of our audience said after a performance, she learned a lot of things she didn't want to know. I wasn't prepared for how vicious it could get. What kept me persevering was knowing that there might be powerful people doing what they could to silence me, but there were also people dying because of the silence and people like Peng Yi who wanted to stop the needless suffering. Thank you for helping me tell my story.
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